- What… where we come from? You're not old enough for this conversation.
- No, uncle, I mean as a whole… the world, the dwarves, the others.
- Ah. I see. (Big gulp of beer.) You mean, NOW?
- Yes, please. Pleeeease?
- *sigh* all right, all right. It goes like this.
First there was the Ore and the Forge. The Ore is what existence looked like before it existed. The Forge was the untapped will, the potential in the Ore to be everything that is, ever will be, or won't.
Over a span of time that is not time, because time wasn't forged yet, some tiny scraps of Ore drifted into the Forge. A piece of the Forge merged with that Ore and became sentient. He has many names, but we call him Mostrai.
He spent ages of time-that-was-not-time exploring, learning the nature of Ore and Forge and himself. Till he decided it was time to start forging. And then, first of all, he forged time, so that he could separate after from before, and so that he could exist absolutely - as opposed to, at the same “time”, existing and not being created yet, which was the case if time didn't exist.
Then, with things in order, he began forging things. The first thing he forged was his armor, because he liked the touch of metal against his body. Then he forged beer, because of course, beer is essential. He forged it red like the Forge, and black like the Ore. The yellow thing, as we all know, is an invention of those pansy elves.
And he liked the beer. He liked it so much, that he was bored of drinking it alone. Beer calls for a party. So he created the boar and the bird, to be roasted; he created the mundane fire, which was a toned-down version of the essence of the Forge, to roast them. And then he created the dwarf, to dress in metal like him, to work the forge with him, but most importantly of all, to party with him and partake of the sacred beer.
But the dwarf started breeding like bugs, and it was quite distracting to have them putting about in spaceless space. At any given point, there were thousands of dwarves partying, thousands sleeping, thousands hunting, and thousands forging. Mostrai thought it was good, but it was also damn annoying. So he created an enormous mountain for them to live under. He put the boar and bird, and a few other animals he had come up with later, on the outside, where he forged woods and forest. And so that his children wouldn't wander forever, he placed these places in the middle of an infinite ocean. There you have, that's the story.
- Whoa. What about the others?
- *sigh* You won't let me finish my beer, will you?
- You'll never finish your beer, uncle. When you soak that mug, there's plenty more in the barrel.
- All right, all right. (Big gulp.)
The dwarves had amazing weapons to hunt with. Eventually, the hunt was no challenge anymore. The best hunters would play-act wars between themselves, to best hone their skills.
Mostrai was worried that those fights might one day evolve into real wars. So he created an enemy, something very different from the dwarf, something very obviously wrong, which lived in the woods and preferred bows and other coward weapons rather than hand-to-hand combat. He made them incredibly lucky, because otherwise they would stand no chance - and they came to believe they're lucky because they're protected by their god, which of course doesn't exist. He also made them very old, so that they would think they existed before the dwarf - otherwise they would just recognize our superior position and submit. And all was good and happy; for time beyond count, dwarf and elf honed their skills against each other, and prospered.
I mean, have you ever fought an elf? Yes, it was an eternal war, but not like those bloody gorefest the others have today. When dwarf and elf fight, it's clean, it's beautiful, it's according to the rules, it's a ritual of honor.
Well, I digress. All was well, I said. But one day, one elf created yellow beer. And that offended Mostrai to a level of rage unseen before. So he created an entire new piece of the world, and populated it with humans, and other horrible creatures, and then let these young ones discover our land, so that they may raze the elf forests, ruin the elf nations, and soil their honor. We're not stupid enough to argue with Mostrai, so we went underground, and we're waiting for that to happen, to see what he will do next.
Can I drink in peace now? There, go play with your friends.
